i am not cinna the conspirator (mithrigil) wrote in all_he_ever,
i am not cinna the conspirator
mithrigil
all_he_ever

AHEWniverse comical summaries.

.

This post will be updated with the fics as they are written.

AHEWniverse characterization relies on and draws from manga and webcomic canon and is unrelated to the Hetalia anime.


"Conceit and Inception" - 1922, 1929, 1960

AMERICA: I have a bomb.
ENGLAND: Shove it up your arse. (Lord knows I won't be putting anything there.)
AMERICA: Fuck you too, Dad--oh wait.


"City of Light" - 1928, 1929, 1931, 1933, 1934, 1938

FRANCE: Witness the richness of my culture! See how pervasive I am! I will be difficult to destroy, no?


"Hope's Children" - 1922, 1937, 1953

ITALY: Germany~ I grew up and got dissociative and creepy~! Wouldn't Grandpa be proud?
GERMANY: ...


"Ziwei Enclosure" - 1912, 1923, 1924, 1927, 1935, 1938, 1941, 1947, 1954, 1956

ENGLAND: How are you China.
JAPAN: All your Emperor are belong to us.
ENGLAND: You have no chance to survive make your time. Ha ha ha !!
CHINA: I hate you all, aru.


"I've Got a Little List" - 1939

SURREALISM: [is not a joke]
ENGLAND: [finds it funny anyway]
JAPAN: [is not domestic]


"The Left Hand Doesn't Know" - 1939

GERMAN SOLDERS: STFU
POLAND: Like, suck my cock, assholes.


"What the Right Hand is Doing" - 1939

RUSSIAN SOLDIERS: ...and it was all very confusing.
RUSSIA: I know. [pets them. pets all of them.]


"Thirty Days" - 1940

FRANCE: [dies]
ITALY: --oops?
GERMANY: [facepalm]


"I Am the Resurrection and the Life" - 1940

PRUSSIA: So France is kinda dead.
ENGLAND: --What. What, I say.
CANADA: ;_;


"The Seventh Door" - 1940

PRUSSIA: Fuck me?
HUNGARY: You're an asshole, and I hate you.
PRUSSIA: That's not a no.
SAD AUSTRIA AT PIANO: ;_;


"Abyss of the Birds" - 1940

PRUSSIA: Austria, I brought you a friend~
MESSAIEN: Bonjour. Je pense que mon pays est mort.
SAD AUSTRIA AT PIANO: ;_;


"All The Rest Have Thirty-One" - 1936, 1940, 1941

ITALY: SURRENDER DOROTHY GREECE!
GREECE: No.


"Excepting February" - 1941, 1942

SWITZERLAND: Motherfuck all this shit.
SWITZERLAND'S HOUSE: Oh really?
SWITZERLAND: ...


"FULL STOP" - 1931, 1936, 1940, 1941, 1943

ENGLAND: There really wasn't a choice, was there.


"Journeyman" - 1925, 1933, 1938, 1944

PRUSSIA: [kills Hitler]
GERMANY: [never learns]


"The Pact of Flesh" - 1944

ITALY: It's Drunken Fascist Orgy Time~!
ENGLAND: ...what. What, I say.


"Put On the Costume" - 1944, 1945

ITALY: So it's this opera about a sad ugly clown.
GERMANY: [facepalm]


"Inherit the Earth" - 1943 - 1945

ROMANO: Fuck you all, and this gelato stand.
ITALY: Okay~


"It Is My Very Humane Endeavor" - 1947

JAPAN: Dear Diary; Today I was evil and England was crazy. Still not king.
ENGLAND: Pass the flamingo, dear.


Bystrouška - 1947

BULGARIA: So is it insurgence resistance?
HUNGARY: Wouldn't you like to know.


"Lavender's Green (dilly dilly)" - 1949

WINSTON CROMWELL CHURCHILL: Well this is a conundrum, isn't it.
ENGLAND: Harder. No, honestly. Harder.
KING EDWARD: [facepalm]


"Downbeat" - 1949

ENGLAND: I'm crazy. Want to dance?
LIECHTENSTEIN: ...


"Fly, Thought, on Wings of Gold" - 1955

GERMANY: You're free to go.
SAD AUSTRIA AT PIANO: ...what?
GERMANY: I said you're free to go.
SAD AUSTRIA AT PIANO: .שֵהֵחְיָנוּ וְקִיְימָנוּ וְהִגִעָנוּ לַזְמַן הַזֶה ...
PRUSSIA: Isn't that backwards?


"Yes, Virginia" - 1957

AMERICA: So a lot's changed, but I'm totally still me.
CALVERT: Of course, dear.
RUSSIA: Yes.
CUBA: Sure thing, dude.
AMERICA: Yep. Totally still me.

.
Tags: admin, chicken little, surrealism is not a joke
  • Post a new comment

    Error

    default userpic

    Your IP address will be recorded 

  • 24 comments